My husband has been working part-time for the last two years, so this means he takes on a lot of the childcare and household responsibilities. He is really quite comfortable with dragging three boys around town to run errands, probably because he is oblivious to their misbehavior in public.
I know my husband is competent, but I forget the rest of the world doesn't seem to have the same confidence in fathers that I do. Kevin is used to get strange looks and questions the first time he takes the boys anywhere, even things as fun as the park leave moms looking at him like he is a creepy pedophile. Kevin is a good sport and takes it in stride. Usually.
Usually our dentist and doctor are really great. For years they have been offering my husband praise when he bring the boys is (note that I never get told I am doing a great job for just being a mother). Friday Kevin loaded the boys in the truck to go get their flu shot. He calls Kaiser to find out if there is a flu shot clinic or somewhere specific he needs to go. He talks to a male customer service representative who won't give him any information unless he can get the boys' medical number. Of course, I have those in my wallet and I am at work. However, they can look it up using Kevin's number. Now the guy wants Kevin to verify each child's birthday (because I guess we are stealing services through the phone or there is some privacy issues because random strangers call about these things?!).
I love my husband, but he can barely remember his own birthday, let alone our three kids. Surprisingly, he get the day and month right, but is off on two of the years. This, apparently makes the guy suspicious and the dude gets an attitude. Of course, Kevin is completely irritated and annoyed because he just wants to know about the flu shot. Eventually, Kevin must sound enough like a parent and not a kidnapper seeking flu shots because he gets transferred to an advice nurse. The nurse tells Kevin all three boys are due for a physical, so he can bring them in Monday and they can all get their flu shots then.
Kevin puts the appointment on the family calendar and texts me at work to let me know since Monday is my day off.
I told him he can go ahead and take the kids down by himself, but he tells me having me along is much easier since no one ever assumes I have kidnapped my children to take them to the doctor.
I am ashamed to say he is right. But he IS right.
Me and the crazy kids
Me and the crazy kids
Monday, February 10, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Isn't Sixth Grade too Young for Girl stuff?
People tell me how quickly kids grow up. Random strangers always tell me to enjoy it while it lasts. Those people don't know what they are talking about. That is what I thought.
Ethan started sixth grade this year. At his school, sixth grade is middle school, "The Academy." This is a big deal for him - he gets to go to different classes, have a locker, you know good junior high stuff.
This also means his first school dance. It seems too soon. Then I remembered my first junior high school dance, and I wasn't worried. It was mostly everyone standing along the wall and only the brave few (or crazy) danced. Certainly, no one slow danced.
Ethan was excited about the dance but a little worried. You can tell he was nervous. It also didn't help that a girl had told him she liked him that day at lunch.
What I particularly love about this is that Ethan is the one who told me. I love that he can talk to me about this stuff because at his age, there was no way in hell I would talk to my parents about boy stuff.
Ethan casually tells me he is nervous about the dance because a certain girl might want to dance. Now Ethan has a group of four friends that hang out together - two boys, Ethan, and a girl we will call K. The boys regularly spend the night at each others' houses. K comes to birthday parties and hangs out at school.
We have all known that Ethan and K like each other for sometime (K's mom and I joke about it), but the kids had never acknowledged it. On this particular Friday, one of Ethan's friends was pressuring K to tell Ethan about her feelings. Finally, she gave in and the exchange went like this:
K: Ethan, you know I like you, right?
Ethan: Yes, but just as friends, right?
K: Um, sure. I didn't want to tell you, but W was pressuring me.
Ethan: okay
Yes, that is it. When I told Ethan K liked him as more than a friend, his response floored me.
"I know mom, but if I told her I like her too, then things would just be awkward between us. If I said I didn't like her, we wouldn't be friends anymore."
This kid is way too insightful to how relationships work, so I could understand his nervousness about the dance.
I take him and his friend to the dance that night. I told him to have fun and not be afraid to dance. In fact, I bribed him. I told him I would pay him $5 if he danced. I shouldn't have because the school plays games to get the kids to dance. They do an activity called Cinderella where the girls put one of their shoes in a pile and the boy who picks the shoe dances with the girl that owns it.
Four hours later when I picked Ethan up, he told me that he danced because his friends decided they didn't want to be the only weird kids standing on the wall. He danced four times to slow songs. His friends arranged to have him and K dance three of those times by switching partners or rigging games. Ethan can't wait for the next dance.
Old people were right. They grow up too fast. I am so not ready.
Ethan started sixth grade this year. At his school, sixth grade is middle school, "The Academy." This is a big deal for him - he gets to go to different classes, have a locker, you know good junior high stuff.
This also means his first school dance. It seems too soon. Then I remembered my first junior high school dance, and I wasn't worried. It was mostly everyone standing along the wall and only the brave few (or crazy) danced. Certainly, no one slow danced.
Ethan was excited about the dance but a little worried. You can tell he was nervous. It also didn't help that a girl had told him she liked him that day at lunch.
What I particularly love about this is that Ethan is the one who told me. I love that he can talk to me about this stuff because at his age, there was no way in hell I would talk to my parents about boy stuff.
Ethan casually tells me he is nervous about the dance because a certain girl might want to dance. Now Ethan has a group of four friends that hang out together - two boys, Ethan, and a girl we will call K. The boys regularly spend the night at each others' houses. K comes to birthday parties and hangs out at school.
We have all known that Ethan and K like each other for sometime (K's mom and I joke about it), but the kids had never acknowledged it. On this particular Friday, one of Ethan's friends was pressuring K to tell Ethan about her feelings. Finally, she gave in and the exchange went like this:
K: Ethan, you know I like you, right?
Ethan: Yes, but just as friends, right?
K: Um, sure. I didn't want to tell you, but W was pressuring me.
Ethan: okay
Yes, that is it. When I told Ethan K liked him as more than a friend, his response floored me.
"I know mom, but if I told her I like her too, then things would just be awkward between us. If I said I didn't like her, we wouldn't be friends anymore."
This kid is way too insightful to how relationships work, so I could understand his nervousness about the dance.
I take him and his friend to the dance that night. I told him to have fun and not be afraid to dance. In fact, I bribed him. I told him I would pay him $5 if he danced. I shouldn't have because the school plays games to get the kids to dance. They do an activity called Cinderella where the girls put one of their shoes in a pile and the boy who picks the shoe dances with the girl that owns it.
Four hours later when I picked Ethan up, he told me that he danced because his friends decided they didn't want to be the only weird kids standing on the wall. He danced four times to slow songs. His friends arranged to have him and K dance three of those times by switching partners or rigging games. Ethan can't wait for the next dance.
Old people were right. They grow up too fast. I am so not ready.
The Ways I Have Failed my Preschooler
I have failed my four year old. Don't get me wrong, I recognize I have probably failed my other children too, but it has never been so obvious until now.
Kevin and I discuss our parenting decision in terms of therapy hours - how much therapy will this cost our kid in the future if we handle the situation this way? We think that way because even the best intentioned parents don't really know the harm they have done to their kids until the kids are grown and realize they are fucked up.
Well now, at the age of four, I have realized the damage I have done, and he is only four.
How did I find this out? From the very lovely Caroline, the preschool teacher. I wanted Ellis to start preschool last year, but he wasn't potty trained. Many of my friends told me their children didn't really get potty trained until they were pressured into at preschool. If this was a daycare, that would have been fine, but this is real preschool.
So, over the summer one of my main goals was to get Ellis potty trained. We had been working on it since he turned three without any real success. He just wasn't interested and would pee his pants while sitting in your lap (yes, pee in your lap) without any problem. We tried pull-ups, but to him it was just another diaper.
The summer came and I was on a mission. It worked. By the end of the summer, he was wearing underwear and using the potty. I didn't realize that there was a problem, well I did, but I was just happy there were no more diapers. I put off starting him in preschool for the first six weeks of the school year because I knew he wasn't quite ready, which is parent speak for normal.
Ellis knows when he needs to use the bathroom. He strips his clothes off completely and climbs on top of the toilet. He puts his feet on top of the toilet seat and squats into the toilet to do his business. I tried to show him how to pull his pants down to his knees and pee standing up. The result of this was him simply peeing his pants for a week, so I let him go back to squatting.
Of course, this isn't the only problem. When he takes all his clothes off, he can't get them back on himself. Part of this is real, part is faked helplessness of the youngest child. For six week, I told him he can't take his clothes off. For six weeks he ran out of the bathroom stark naked and brought me his underwear and pants to put back on. I let him do it himself most days - that is a sight. He usually ends up with the underwear sideways and no pants on at all.
Finally, I decided the peer pressure of preschool would help more than I could. I warned the teacher his first day, and she kindly told me not to worry that he would get the hang of it. I was a nervous wreck all day his first day (it didn't help that Emmett used to get sent home from preschool at least twice a week). Kevin and I worried that they would call and tell us it was hopeless. But, he did fine. Yes, he did run into the class naked, but the teacher just told him to stay in the bathroom until he is dressed. On his third day, she started showing him how to stand up to use the bathroom. It hasn't quite sunk in, but she has made me feel better about my parenting.
At least until last week.
The end of his second week in school, I go to pick him up. Caroline, his teacher, is so sweet. She comes up to me to tell me how good he is doing and that she is still working on the potty stuff. She tells me we just need to work together, and he will get it. Then, she says: he doesn't know how to drink out of a cup. I am puzzled by this. Of course he does. He drinks out of a cup all the time.
No, she tells me - not a sippy cup, a real cup. Oh crap, she is right. When we give him a regular cup, we give him a straw. I never, ever thought of this.
She explains she tried to show him, but he keeps putting his tongue out. She tells me to practice at home, and that if he gets thirsty enough, he will figure out how to use a cup.
That night I get a cup of juice for him. He tells me wants a sippy cup. I tell him he needs to learn how to use a big boy cup. I set it on the table. He just leaves it there, and I see him drinking out of my water bottle that has a straw.
The next morning, I serve his milk in a cup. He ignores it. I am sure he drinks out of other people's drinks (with straws) that are laying around the house, but I can't be the drink police. I recognize I am failing.
At dinner, I make him a cup and put it to his lips, he puts his tongue on the outside of the cup, pours the milk into his mouth. I think - SUCCESS - until the milk comes pouring back out onto his shirt. How hard can it be to drink from a cup? I quit for the night. I figure I will just keep offering it, and eventually he will get it.
The next morning I have renewed confidence (patience) and serve him a cup of juice. He insists he needs a sippy cup and I deny him. I look over a few minutes later, and he is using the cup WITH A STRAW IN IT.
Yup. He got a straw out of the drawer to drink his juice. I have failed to teach him the most basic human skill: drinking from a cup.
I think to myself maybe drinking from a straw for the rest of his life isn't such a bad idea.
Yet, I am heading to Target to see if I can find a training cup, one with a lid, without a spout, that has a rim, and that I can take the valve out of - like a sippy cup but not a sippy cup. Hopefully, this will work. If not, I accept defeat.
Don't even get me started on his eating habits....
Kevin and I discuss our parenting decision in terms of therapy hours - how much therapy will this cost our kid in the future if we handle the situation this way? We think that way because even the best intentioned parents don't really know the harm they have done to their kids until the kids are grown and realize they are fucked up.
Well now, at the age of four, I have realized the damage I have done, and he is only four.
How did I find this out? From the very lovely Caroline, the preschool teacher. I wanted Ellis to start preschool last year, but he wasn't potty trained. Many of my friends told me their children didn't really get potty trained until they were pressured into at preschool. If this was a daycare, that would have been fine, but this is real preschool.
So, over the summer one of my main goals was to get Ellis potty trained. We had been working on it since he turned three without any real success. He just wasn't interested and would pee his pants while sitting in your lap (yes, pee in your lap) without any problem. We tried pull-ups, but to him it was just another diaper.
The summer came and I was on a mission. It worked. By the end of the summer, he was wearing underwear and using the potty. I didn't realize that there was a problem, well I did, but I was just happy there were no more diapers. I put off starting him in preschool for the first six weeks of the school year because I knew he wasn't quite ready, which is parent speak for normal.
Ellis knows when he needs to use the bathroom. He strips his clothes off completely and climbs on top of the toilet. He puts his feet on top of the toilet seat and squats into the toilet to do his business. I tried to show him how to pull his pants down to his knees and pee standing up. The result of this was him simply peeing his pants for a week, so I let him go back to squatting.
Of course, this isn't the only problem. When he takes all his clothes off, he can't get them back on himself. Part of this is real, part is faked helplessness of the youngest child. For six week, I told him he can't take his clothes off. For six weeks he ran out of the bathroom stark naked and brought me his underwear and pants to put back on. I let him do it himself most days - that is a sight. He usually ends up with the underwear sideways and no pants on at all.
Finally, I decided the peer pressure of preschool would help more than I could. I warned the teacher his first day, and she kindly told me not to worry that he would get the hang of it. I was a nervous wreck all day his first day (it didn't help that Emmett used to get sent home from preschool at least twice a week). Kevin and I worried that they would call and tell us it was hopeless. But, he did fine. Yes, he did run into the class naked, but the teacher just told him to stay in the bathroom until he is dressed. On his third day, she started showing him how to stand up to use the bathroom. It hasn't quite sunk in, but she has made me feel better about my parenting.
At least until last week.
The end of his second week in school, I go to pick him up. Caroline, his teacher, is so sweet. She comes up to me to tell me how good he is doing and that she is still working on the potty stuff. She tells me we just need to work together, and he will get it. Then, she says: he doesn't know how to drink out of a cup. I am puzzled by this. Of course he does. He drinks out of a cup all the time.
No, she tells me - not a sippy cup, a real cup. Oh crap, she is right. When we give him a regular cup, we give him a straw. I never, ever thought of this.
She explains she tried to show him, but he keeps putting his tongue out. She tells me to practice at home, and that if he gets thirsty enough, he will figure out how to use a cup.
That night I get a cup of juice for him. He tells me wants a sippy cup. I tell him he needs to learn how to use a big boy cup. I set it on the table. He just leaves it there, and I see him drinking out of my water bottle that has a straw.
The next morning, I serve his milk in a cup. He ignores it. I am sure he drinks out of other people's drinks (with straws) that are laying around the house, but I can't be the drink police. I recognize I am failing.
At dinner, I make him a cup and put it to his lips, he puts his tongue on the outside of the cup, pours the milk into his mouth. I think - SUCCESS - until the milk comes pouring back out onto his shirt. How hard can it be to drink from a cup? I quit for the night. I figure I will just keep offering it, and eventually he will get it.
The next morning I have renewed confidence (patience) and serve him a cup of juice. He insists he needs a sippy cup and I deny him. I look over a few minutes later, and he is using the cup WITH A STRAW IN IT.
Yup. He got a straw out of the drawer to drink his juice. I have failed to teach him the most basic human skill: drinking from a cup.
I think to myself maybe drinking from a straw for the rest of his life isn't such a bad idea.
Yet, I am heading to Target to see if I can find a training cup, one with a lid, without a spout, that has a rim, and that I can take the valve out of - like a sippy cup but not a sippy cup. Hopefully, this will work. If not, I accept defeat.
Don't even get me started on his eating habits....
Friday, October 18, 2013
I'm back....
I know you have all missed me. I took the summer off from teaching to spend it home with my kids. You would think that would give me plenty of free time to blog about that experiences, but I was busy. Well, to be honest I was busy reading. I averaged about four books a week. Don't worry the kids got plenty of quality time squeezed in there too. Probably because my husband was only working two days a week and took them to do activities a lot.
Don't judge. Contrary to popular belief, my life as a teacher is anything but leisurely. I usually teach seven classes a semester, and I teach English, which means I have NO down time during the semester. I hadn't taken a summer off in 10 years, so this year I wanted to have some time to do the things I love: read, craft, knit. The kids just happened to be home too.
The summer went by fast and here I am halfway through the next semester when I thought I should update my blog. No 31 day challenge this year. I am teaching EIGHT classes; no body has time for blogging. In fact, the only reason I am doing this blog entry now is because I am sitting in a class giving a midterm, and I don't have any papers to grade until tomorrow.
Be grateful for what I give you.
Chatted with an old student yesterday who suggested I create a YouTube page and video myself ranting about the latest political issue. I am seriously giving this thought as I find plenty of people just don't have any common sense anymore or can't THINK about issues that are important; I know that I could teach them something - I am brilliant ;). I am truly surprised my students and people I meet have so little knowledge. If I decide to do that, I will post a link here for your viewing pleasure or so you can tell me I am, in fact, crazy.
No crazy kid story today. Okay maybe a minor one. Ellis started preschool. He is now potty trained, kind of. Like a wild animal he strips his clothes off and squats on top of the toilet. How does that work out at preschool? You will have to wait to find out.
How about some teasers about the newest developments in my crazy life (and blogs to come):
Ethan goes to his first school dance AND a girl tells him she likes him
Ellis starts preschool and can't drink out of a cup
Emmett insists he is being abused
Are you curious yet?
Don't judge. Contrary to popular belief, my life as a teacher is anything but leisurely. I usually teach seven classes a semester, and I teach English, which means I have NO down time during the semester. I hadn't taken a summer off in 10 years, so this year I wanted to have some time to do the things I love: read, craft, knit. The kids just happened to be home too.
The summer went by fast and here I am halfway through the next semester when I thought I should update my blog. No 31 day challenge this year. I am teaching EIGHT classes; no body has time for blogging. In fact, the only reason I am doing this blog entry now is because I am sitting in a class giving a midterm, and I don't have any papers to grade until tomorrow.
Be grateful for what I give you.
Chatted with an old student yesterday who suggested I create a YouTube page and video myself ranting about the latest political issue. I am seriously giving this thought as I find plenty of people just don't have any common sense anymore or can't THINK about issues that are important; I know that I could teach them something - I am brilliant ;). I am truly surprised my students and people I meet have so little knowledge. If I decide to do that, I will post a link here for your viewing pleasure or so you can tell me I am, in fact, crazy.
No crazy kid story today. Okay maybe a minor one. Ellis started preschool. He is now potty trained, kind of. Like a wild animal he strips his clothes off and squats on top of the toilet. How does that work out at preschool? You will have to wait to find out.
How about some teasers about the newest developments in my crazy life (and blogs to come):
Ethan goes to his first school dance AND a girl tells him she likes him
Ellis starts preschool and can't drink out of a cup
Emmett insists he is being abused
Are you curious yet?
Friday, April 19, 2013
Little League and other kids' activities
So Little League baseball season began last month. Ethan (10) and Emmett (7) are both playing this year. This means for four months I (and my husband) will have absolutely no spare time and no life that doesn't involve baseball games. I guess I am willing to make this sacrifice, but at only a month in, I am already terribly tired of baseball - games, practices, trying to find the equipment and uniforms.
Kevin volunteered to coach Emmett's farm team this year. I was okay with that until he tried to convince me to be team mom. Nope. That didn't happen. I have enough things to deal with without nagging parents about snack bar duty and arranging team parties.
The real problem with baseball is the time commitment. If we only had one kid, that wouldn't really be a problem. With two playing (and Kevin coaching), it means the two of us are always at baseball. Literally, everyday but Sunday. Ethan has two practices and two games each week. Emmett has two games and one practice each week.
The real complication is that the practices and games are often on the same night, but in two different places. In our rural world, this means fields that are in different towns 15-20 minutes apart. Ethan has to be at games an hour before they start, but Kevin has to be at Emmett's games and practices early too to set up the field.
Normally we manage this fine - somehow. Wednesday it got ugly. I had a work meeting from 3-5 in Sacramento (an hour away). Ethan had a game at 5:30 (be there are 4:30) in our hometown. Emmett also had a game Kevin was coaching at 5:30 at a field 20 minutes away. We worked out that Kevin would take Ethan and drop him at 4:30 which would allow Kevin to make it to the field by 5 to set up Emmett's game.
My meeting doesn't let out until 5:30. When I check my phone, I have a voicemail from Ethan's coach stating that the game was moved - and he was concerned Ethan wasn't there yet. Then, I see a text from Kevin at 4:57 telling me Ethan is at the wrong field. I try to call, but there is no answer because Kevin is in the middle of the game.
I head back home and find Ethan at his game (he hitched a ride with another parent and played an awesome game). When I got home my husband tells me he didn't hear his phone when three parents and a coach from the other team called him to ask if they could take Ethan to the game. Thankfully, the other coach just gave him a ride, and we live in a great community where people help each other out.
Emmett, of course, decided to quit him game halfway through. He took off his uniform shirt and climbed a tree, refusing to come down until the game was over.
Kevin thinks we should sign up Ellis, the third child, for T-Ball next year, so we can have all three in baseball. I think he is insane.
Kevin volunteered to coach Emmett's farm team this year. I was okay with that until he tried to convince me to be team mom. Nope. That didn't happen. I have enough things to deal with without nagging parents about snack bar duty and arranging team parties.
The real problem with baseball is the time commitment. If we only had one kid, that wouldn't really be a problem. With two playing (and Kevin coaching), it means the two of us are always at baseball. Literally, everyday but Sunday. Ethan has two practices and two games each week. Emmett has two games and one practice each week.
The real complication is that the practices and games are often on the same night, but in two different places. In our rural world, this means fields that are in different towns 15-20 minutes apart. Ethan has to be at games an hour before they start, but Kevin has to be at Emmett's games and practices early too to set up the field.
Normally we manage this fine - somehow. Wednesday it got ugly. I had a work meeting from 3-5 in Sacramento (an hour away). Ethan had a game at 5:30 (be there are 4:30) in our hometown. Emmett also had a game Kevin was coaching at 5:30 at a field 20 minutes away. We worked out that Kevin would take Ethan and drop him at 4:30 which would allow Kevin to make it to the field by 5 to set up Emmett's game.
My meeting doesn't let out until 5:30. When I check my phone, I have a voicemail from Ethan's coach stating that the game was moved - and he was concerned Ethan wasn't there yet. Then, I see a text from Kevin at 4:57 telling me Ethan is at the wrong field. I try to call, but there is no answer because Kevin is in the middle of the game.
I head back home and find Ethan at his game (he hitched a ride with another parent and played an awesome game). When I got home my husband tells me he didn't hear his phone when three parents and a coach from the other team called him to ask if they could take Ethan to the game. Thankfully, the other coach just gave him a ride, and we live in a great community where people help each other out.
Emmett, of course, decided to quit him game halfway through. He took off his uniform shirt and climbed a tree, refusing to come down until the game was over.
Kevin thinks we should sign up Ellis, the third child, for T-Ball next year, so we can have all three in baseball. I think he is insane.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Getting away from it all with them all
Family vacations have become a staple and a tradition in our lives. Both Kevin and I did not have parents who took us on family vacations. We both have memories of our parents leaving us at grandma's while they went to Hawaii (no wonder Kevin and I are meant for each other).
Vacationing with the whole family can be expensive and I do believe in quality time as a couple, but leaving the kids for more than 3-4 days is just too hard - we miss them. Plus, we can't find anyone who would take the herd of kids while we leave to a tropical paradise for a week.
So we compromise. At least a few weekends a year for just the two of us. A couple of weekends away for the whole family every year and a week long vacation every two years. The kids look forward to this, and so do we.
Vacationing as a family was easier when we only had one kid. Ethan went on a Mexican cruise with us at just two years old. We could just pack him up and bring him along. We went to Disneyland on 4th of July for a week and had a ton of fun.
Once Emmett came, things got harder and more expensive, but we still managed a long camping trip up to the Redwoods and northern coast and then San Diego for a week when Emmett turned three - my sister came to help us out on both those trips. It was exhausting (note: tent camping with 8 month old is NOT fun), but we still enjoyed ourselves.
Then Ellis came. Now it was even harder and even more money to take five people anywhere. Yet, we went to Los Angeles for five days before Ellis was a year old - no Disneyland, but a bunch of other fun kid activities.
Then, we got brave. Time to fly somewhere. We got the kids passports and planned a trip to Mexico. We had to change destinations due to the crazy violence happening down there and decided to go to Florida instead. We weren't crazy enough to fly without some help, so we offered my cousin the chance to go with us. She agreed and made life much easier - one adult per child. We had the best time ever! The kids talked about that trip for months.
This year the kids really wanted another trip - they kept asking for Hawaii. I reminded them we had our big trip just last year and explained it wasn't going to happen. Plus, we really can't afford to fly five people to Hawaii right now. I told them to pick a weekend destination.
As luck would have it, Ellis turned three in September and the kids reminded me that we owe Ellis a trip to Disneyland ( a tradition - see yesterday's post), so we agreed to go in October when we could enjoy the Halloween decor.
October is now here, and I just finished packing for our trip to Southern California. Yes, we are driving (crazy I know). We leave this weekend, and I am as excited as the kids are.
I need a vacation, some time to get away from it all - even if it means bringing it all with me.
Wish me luck.
P.S.
Vacationing with the whole family can be expensive and I do believe in quality time as a couple, but leaving the kids for more than 3-4 days is just too hard - we miss them. Plus, we can't find anyone who would take the herd of kids while we leave to a tropical paradise for a week.
So we compromise. At least a few weekends a year for just the two of us. A couple of weekends away for the whole family every year and a week long vacation every two years. The kids look forward to this, and so do we.
Vacationing as a family was easier when we only had one kid. Ethan went on a Mexican cruise with us at just two years old. We could just pack him up and bring him along. We went to Disneyland on 4th of July for a week and had a ton of fun.
Once Emmett came, things got harder and more expensive, but we still managed a long camping trip up to the Redwoods and northern coast and then San Diego for a week when Emmett turned three - my sister came to help us out on both those trips. It was exhausting (note: tent camping with 8 month old is NOT fun), but we still enjoyed ourselves.
Then Ellis came. Now it was even harder and even more money to take five people anywhere. Yet, we went to Los Angeles for five days before Ellis was a year old - no Disneyland, but a bunch of other fun kid activities.
Then, we got brave. Time to fly somewhere. We got the kids passports and planned a trip to Mexico. We had to change destinations due to the crazy violence happening down there and decided to go to Florida instead. We weren't crazy enough to fly without some help, so we offered my cousin the chance to go with us. She agreed and made life much easier - one adult per child. We had the best time ever! The kids talked about that trip for months.
This year the kids really wanted another trip - they kept asking for Hawaii. I reminded them we had our big trip just last year and explained it wasn't going to happen. Plus, we really can't afford to fly five people to Hawaii right now. I told them to pick a weekend destination.
As luck would have it, Ellis turned three in September and the kids reminded me that we owe Ellis a trip to Disneyland ( a tradition - see yesterday's post), so we agreed to go in October when we could enjoy the Halloween decor.
October is now here, and I just finished packing for our trip to Southern California. Yes, we are driving (crazy I know). We leave this weekend, and I am as excited as the kids are.
I need a vacation, some time to get away from it all - even if it means bringing it all with me.
Wish me luck.
P.S.
We are already planning a big road trip for this summer - we are driving back to Boston to see my friend - we are going to be gone for three weeks. However, I might change my mind after next week ;)
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
The Things Kids Remember
I want my kids to have happy childhood memories. I know that having traditions is one way to help kids remember those early years with fondness. Kevin remembers almost nothing before the age of 10, and most of my memories are of significant trauma, not fun family things.
To change this for our children, Kevin and I agreed to come up with some traditions our kids could look forward to. Here is the warning: if you try this, it may backfire.
Here are some of our traditions:
The kids get a new Christmas ornament each year for the tree.
We chop down our own Christmas tree and string popcorn for it.
We also bake Holiday themed cookies or cupcakes for all major holidays.
The kids buy each other small gifts for Christmas and Birthdays using their own money.
The kids make handmade gifts for grandparents each year.
We take the kids to Disneyland for their third birthday (thus our trip next week since Ellis turned 3)
We go to Apple Hill to pick pumpkins and go to the pumpkin patch up there.
We go out to dinner for birthdays and the birthday person gets to pick the place and the cake.
We do a family vacation at least every two years - the kids big for every year.
We scrapbook the family vacation as a group for our album.
We pose for pictures the first day of school and they always get a fun shirt for the first day.
The boys names all start with E, and one of the children has their father's name as the middle name (the boys love this and refer to themselves as the "E brothers")
You can see the list starts to feel endless. I find joy in doing most of these things with and for the kids. Even if I forget some of them, the kids will remind me - or hold me accountable. Sometimes life interferes, and it isn't possible to complete one of our traditions.
For example, last year we were in the middle of remodeling our house and moving, so we didn't go to Apple Hill. The kids thought the world was going to end.
I was hoping they forgot this year, but the first of October, they asked about going. I told the kids we had apples and pumpkins in our garden and didn't need to go. The kids were not having it.
They convinced me we needed to go. How you may ask? Ethan simply plucked my heart strings. "But mom," he told me, "it is a tradition, and I thought you wanted us to have happy memories?"
Told you those traditions would backfire. Set the expectations your children have very low, and you will never disappoint them.
To change this for our children, Kevin and I agreed to come up with some traditions our kids could look forward to. Here is the warning: if you try this, it may backfire.
Here are some of our traditions:
The kids get a new Christmas ornament each year for the tree.
We chop down our own Christmas tree and string popcorn for it.
We also bake Holiday themed cookies or cupcakes for all major holidays.
The kids buy each other small gifts for Christmas and Birthdays using their own money.
The kids make handmade gifts for grandparents each year.
We take the kids to Disneyland for their third birthday (thus our trip next week since Ellis turned 3)
We go to Apple Hill to pick pumpkins and go to the pumpkin patch up there.
We go out to dinner for birthdays and the birthday person gets to pick the place and the cake.
We do a family vacation at least every two years - the kids big for every year.
We scrapbook the family vacation as a group for our album.
We pose for pictures the first day of school and they always get a fun shirt for the first day.
The boys names all start with E, and one of the children has their father's name as the middle name (the boys love this and refer to themselves as the "E brothers")
You can see the list starts to feel endless. I find joy in doing most of these things with and for the kids. Even if I forget some of them, the kids will remind me - or hold me accountable. Sometimes life interferes, and it isn't possible to complete one of our traditions.
For example, last year we were in the middle of remodeling our house and moving, so we didn't go to Apple Hill. The kids thought the world was going to end.
I was hoping they forgot this year, but the first of October, they asked about going. I told the kids we had apples and pumpkins in our garden and didn't need to go. The kids were not having it.
They convinced me we needed to go. How you may ask? Ethan simply plucked my heart strings. "But mom," he told me, "it is a tradition, and I thought you wanted us to have happy memories?"
Told you those traditions would backfire. Set the expectations your children have very low, and you will never disappoint them.
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