Not in the store!

My kids, like most good Americans, love to shop. The problem is I hate taking them with me shopping. I have even contemplated paying the babysitter to watch them so I could shop alone. I am talking about the normal grocery store and Target trip. Forget Costco - we try to do that while they are at school.

The problem is they get a case of the "I wants" the minute we walk in the store. Parents (and magazines and books) give the advice that you need to set the ground rules BEFORE you go in the store. You know, telling them that they can't have anything so not to even ask.

Uh huh, sure. I am not sure whose kids this works for - maybe the same people that get them to do chores - but it doesn't work for me. At all.

Even once we are in the store, I hear them start to ask and remind them: no asking and no getting ANYTHING. That lasts five minutes until I am saying no 22 times to each of my three children. It isn't like I am just saying no to toys - we do avoid the toy section - but they ask for the most ridiculous things. They ask for every snack food, candles, cups, socks. It doesn't matter. If they see it, they ask for it.

They also pull out all of the stops: "please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. I promise I'll be good/do chores/pay you back." And when all else fails, the TANTRUM. Then, there are the looks from the "amazing parents" who think you are crappy because you can't control your kids.

I tried compromise - pick something from the dollar section; if you are good and don't ask for anything else, I will buy you that one item. Nope, one item is not enough. Don't even get me started on the dreaded candy section at checkout.

I am seriously over it. 

A few years ago, I did come up with a plan that works some of the time: the list.

I tell the kids they can't ask me for anything, but if they find something they really want, they can add it to the master list. The list is what we use to purchase Christmas and Birthday presents - we even send it out to relatives. The problem with this is you actually have to keep a list. The kids will remember if you don't put something on it, but they buy into the idea rather easily. Emmett: "Mom, can I have this Power Ranger?" Me: "Nope, but I can add it to your list."

It doesn't always work, but most of the time they are happy to add things to the list as they shop. The small stuff that they randomly want never makes it to the list, but I tell them it does. The bigger stuff actually goes on the list I keep on my phone.

Not a perfect solution, but it does decrease the "I wants" or at least the amount I get coerced into buying.