Another poop story

Who doesn't like a good poop story? I seem to have many, so here is one embarrasing one.

Boys are gross. They just don't really care about hygeine in general (at least until they get a girlfriend or some social pressure). Emmett has toilet issues. Seriously. He potty trained late (almost four, really!) and still doesn't like or refuses normal bathroom behavior.

There are two really gross things about Emmett: he doesn't wipe his butt, and he won't flush the toilet. Now, part of this I blame on Ethan and Kevin in a strange way.

When Ethan was three, he was traveling with Kevin and his mom to San Francisco. They stopped at a Denny's for some lunch. Ethan was newly potty trained and needed to use the bathroom before they left. Kevin took him to the bathroom and when Ethan was done using the toilet, he flushed it. What happened next traumatized poor Ethan. The toilet was broken and the dirty toilet water sprayed into the air and soaked Ethan from head-to-toe. The poor guy was so scared and upset. It took him about a year before he would flush the toilet, and this continued on for years - asking us in public places if the toilet was going to explode and insisting we flush it for him.

So, Emmett was finally potty trained, but Ethan told Emmett the story of the exploding toilet. We tried to reason with Emmett that our toilets at home would NEVER do this, but Ethan's fear had transferred over to Emmett. I have no idea why he doesn't wipe his butt. I have tried to ask, but his answer is usually something crazy.

I know my grandma's answer is to beat him, but so far we have tried other things. We remind him, we threaten him, we punish him (that really doesn't work). We have tried family shame; we tried social shame.

Nothing works. Emmett is told a THOUSAND times to flush the toilet. Everyone in the family freaks out at his toilet surprises; I think he likes the attention.

He also like to pee on the toilet seat, so I forbid him to use my bathroom.

I have tried threatening him with illness - I even had his doctor tell him he was going to get an infection on his butt because he won't wipe.

I asked him the other day who was the stinky kid in school. When he told me he didn't know, I told him it was him. He thought that was funny.

I thought about wiping his butt for him, but I fear he would like that too much.

The only good thing of these disgusting habits: we all know who is responsible for the toilet nightmare.